Along with many of you I visited my local Chase branch last week to apply for the Chase Sapphire Reserve. My neighborhood is the hot area for free-spending Chinese students at NYU and Cooper Union. The branch has been overwhelmed with a school year rush of new customers. Branch reception took my number and their business banker called me that afternoon.
I met the business banker once prior when opening a checking account and unsuccessfully submitting an Ink Bold application. He then mentioned Chase Private Client to me, and this time, as I submitted a series of credit card applications, he talked up the virtues of Chase Private Client. His evidence for my suitability is limited. My business checking account seldom has more than the $1,500 to avoid monthly fees.
The gentleman is nice, however it should not take an expert salesperson to see I am not a Chris Christie-style New Jerseyan. I searched just now if it is New Jerseyan or -ite. Turns out I am supposed to dislike -ite. My address says New Jersey. My manner and accent say Midwest where millionaires often wear flannel shirts and drive Buicks. The spiel about the awesomeness of the lead Private Banker, ‘Top 1% in the country,’ and all the comps that will flow my way like an Atlantic City casino all had me thinking, Where Are the Customers’ Yachts?
Since all my apps went to pending I agreed to a follow-up appointment for an audience with the magnificent private banker. I would bring in my retirement account statements and receive an analysis ‘worth $1,000.’ The business banker would be on vacation.
Today came my appointment. Branch even packed with the young faces and P.R. China passports of my new neighbors. A friendly receptionist asked if I had an appointment, screwed up her face when I said the name of the private banker, and went in the back.
I saw her confer with the lead personal banker. She came back to say, “He already left for the day. Didn’t anyone inform you? Well, it sounds like a family emergency.”
Whether true or not, family emergency is always the reason given to a customer who has just wasted his time coming to the branch. I have not met the gentleman and if it is a genuine emergency I wish him and family the best.
Maybe I’ll hear from them again, maybe not. The sales process is when you put your best foot forward and they didnot muster a notification. If all my applications get denied I may still follow-up to see if they have a magic wand. Recent reports are that Chase Private Client advocacy/’special consideration’ only goes so far. Otherwise, pretty hard to see why I should come in again to hear about all the (future) attention I will receive in exchange for active management and high investment fees.
I am not worthy! 🙂